Success or Failure | The Children You Were Born To Raise. What Happened? | Day 3

In Scripture, some parents raised children who honoured God. Others watched their families fell apart. The difference usually traces back to what the parent modeled and permitted. Two dads. Two very different endings. What was the difference?"

God, thank You for this day and for the privilege of being called Your children. You are such a wonderfully kind Father. We thank You for taking care of us and for setting an example of how we should care for those under our care. Where we have failed, correct us, we pray. Thank You that it’s not too late. Where we are carrying more weight than we should, give us wisdom and rest. In Jesus' name, amen.

Manoah, we may know, was the father of Samson, one of Israel's judges, renowned for his extraordinary God-given strength.

 In Judges 13, Manoah and his wife asked God how they should raise the son He had promised them. They understood that the way they nurtured and guided their son would influence the man he would become. (Judges 13:12, KJV).

So they asked God directly, "teach us what we shall do unto the child that shall be born" (Judges 13:8). That posture — staying humble and asking to be taught — is a mark of a successful parent, even when the outcome isn’t perfect.

That’s the entire message today. The greatest gift a parent can give a child is not perfection, but a heart humble enough to seek God's wisdom in raising them.

Now look at Gideon, a few chapters earlier in Judges 8.

Gideon was a mighty judge who delivered Israel, but he took many wives and had many sons, including one named Abimelech by a secondary wife. Gideon was diligent in fighting battles outside his home but neglected the conflicts, unhealthy relationships, and divisions inside his own family.

After Gideon died, Abimelech murdered nearly seventy of his own brothers to seize power (Judges 9:5). A father who was strong in public life left chaos in his own home because he never addressed what was happening inside it.

That’s the pattern worth noticing: parents who succeed tend to stay teachable and deal with what’s happening in the home, not just what’s happening in public. Parents who struggle often avoided hard conversations, allowed division, or were present physically but absent where it mattered.

Do we see ourselves anywhere in that equation, or is the first thing we think about: ahh, that’s why some pastors’ children go astray?! Let us examine ourselves, people of God! Amen?!

Let’s be clear, Family: if our grown children are still leaning on us financially, emotionally, or otherwise, that’s not proof we failed! Phew! Truth be told: sometimes it’s proof we never stopped loving them, even past the point it was easy.

But love and enabling aren't the same thing. Love corrects, guides, and protects; enabling excuses harmful behaviour and allows it to continue.

Let us ask God for the wisdom Manoah asked for — not to fix our grown child, but to know what our role actually is now.

And if you’re a grandparent raising your grandchildren, whether by choice or by circumstance, you are not doing something outside of Scripture’s pattern. Naomi played such an active role in Obed's upbringing that the whole town recognized her influence. (Ruth 4:16).

Family, God has always used the older generation to steady the next one when a gap opened up. That’s not a failure on our part. That’s the same design at work, just in a tougher season.

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