Beyond Feelings: Learning God’s Language of Love | Day 1: Love Starts with God

I love you. You say you love me.

I love cherry vanilla ice cream. I love a nice car. I love my job. What do you love?

This week, I’ve been led to focus our attention on the most powerful 4-letter word there is — L O V E.

I would like us to understand that before we can talk about loving others, we must first deal with the foundation—love begins with God.

That’s not just a comforting statement; it’s a spiritual reality that shapes how everything else flows.

The world teaches us that love is a feeling. We say we love food, fashion, and people with the same word, and yet none of that resembles what Scripture describes as love. Feelings rise and fall, but divine love is steady, sacrificial, and rooted in truth.

In John 15:9 (NKJV), Jesus says, “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.”

That one sentence reveals something powerful—love doesn’t start with us. It flows through us. Jesus models the divine pattern: the Father’s love poured into Him, and He pours that love into us.

See, the moment we try to find love on our own, apart from God, we end up with counterfeits—affection without depth, emotion without endurance, kindness without conviction.

That’s why 1 John 4:7–8 (NKJV) reminds us: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

The Apostle Paul drives this home in 1 Corinthians 13:1–3 (NLT), reminding us that even if we speak with the tongues of angels, have prophetic gifts, or perform great acts of charity, without love, we are nothing.

The Scripture says: “If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal... if I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.”

Notice what he’s saying—it’s possible to do religious or generous things without love. Why? Because love is not what we do; it’s the spirit in which we do it. And that’s why we can say about some people, “Oh, they are so loving”—because we don’t understand this: love is not what we do, it’s the spirit in which we do it.

Family, what we must understand is that it is possible to help someone for recognition—people do that. It is possible to forgive just to appear humble—people say, “I’m a forgiving person,” but still harbor hurt and pain and malice. It is possible to serve while secretly resenting it.

Those are the subtle ways we operate from feelings instead of divine love.

We often think love is proven in grand gestures, but biblical love shows up in consistency, humility, and obedience. I want us to take note of that prescription—consistency, humility, and obedience.

Family, love is not reactive—it’s steadfast. God doesn’t love us because we behave well; He loves us because He is love.

When we forget that, we start attaching conditions to how we love others: “I’ll love you if you respect me,” or “I’ll forgive you if you apologize first.”

But divine love doesn’t bargain. It acts according to who God is, not according to who others are.

Romans 5:8 (NLT) tells us, “But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.”

That’s unconditional love—initiated by God, not earned by us.

Let’s be honest—our modern culture is drowning in emotional definitions of love. Social media tells us love is self-expression, romance, or how others make us feel.

But God’s love language is obedience. “If you love Me, keep My commandments” — John 14:15 (NKJV).

That verse doesn’t sound poetic, but it’s pure truth. God measures love by how well we listen and follow Him—obedience.

Obedience isn’t control; it’s alignment. When we obey God, we love on His terms, not ours—not feelings or emotions or status or popularity.

Sometimes we wonder why our relationships, families, or ministries feel strained, even when we think we’re doing everything right. The problem is often that we’re trying to give love we haven’t received.

It is often said, you can’t pour from an empty cup; you can’t pour from an empty heart. Jesus didn’t just command us to love—He said to abide in His love. To abide means to remain, to dwell, to stay connected.

When we drift from His presence, we lose the power to love rightly. The impatience grows, the misunderstandings multiply, and the affection turns into effort. But when we stay rooted in His love, even correction comes out gently, and boundaries come from wisdom, not pride.

That’s why John 15:4–5 (NKJV) says, “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”

One of the greatest modern faux pas or mistakes we make is mistaking tolerance for love. The Bible never said love agrees with everything; it says love rejoices in the truth.

1 Corinthians 13:6 (NKJV) declares, “[Love] does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth.”

Love that condones sin isn’t love—it’s fear of rejection.

God’s love confronts wrong but restores gently. True love tells the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, because it cares more about the person’s soul than about being liked.

Think about how Jesus loved—He wept for Lazarus (John 11:35), forgave His executioners (Luke 23:34), and washed Judas’ feet knowing betrayal was coming (John 13:5, 11). 

That’s not emotional love; that’s divine composure.

The closer we walk with God, the more we’ll find love taking on this kind of maturity—quiet strength instead of loud approval, patient endurance instead of instant gratification.

So, when we say we love God, let’s measure that by how we abide in His Word, how we treat people when they fail us, and how we respond when God says “wait” or “no.”

Those are the moments that reveal whether love is rooted in feeling or faith.

Family, as this series unfolds, remember this truth: Love is not found; it’s formed. God doesn’t just give us love—He teaches us how to speak His language.

The more we listen, the more we sound like Him. The more we stay, the more His heart becomes ours.

That’s where love begins.