When Helping Hurts: The Emotional Toll of Carrying Others’ Burdens
- Angela U Burns
- Jul 10
- 3 min read
Not all burdens we carry are our own.
Is that a true statement? Is there anybody here walking around with somebody else’s worries and cares?
Did I hear a yes? I mean: Don’t we have enough of our own problems to deal with?
Truth is, many believers—especially caregivers, pastors, leaders, mothers, and encouragers—carry the emotional weight of others every day.
After all, helping is a good thing. Helping is holy. The Bible says we should bear one another’s burdens.
Gal 6:2 AMP “Carry one another’s burdens and in this way you will fulfill the requirements of the law of Christ [that is, the law of Christian love].”
But when helping leads to emotional burnout, we have to take stock and ask: how does God want us to help without being consumed?
We see this tension in the life of Martha, the sister of Mary and Lazarus.
In Luke 10:38–42, Martha opened her home to Jesus—a beautiful act of service. But while she worked, her sister Mary sat at Jesus’ feet. And what happened? Martha grew resentful.
“Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” (Luke 10:40, NLT).
Martha wasn’t lazy or rebellious—she was burned out. She was serving with her hands, but her heart was heavy. Can anyone identify?
Jesus gently responded, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better.” (vv. 41–42, NIV).
This wasn’t a rebuke or even a dismissal. It wasn’t to say work was bad. But in that moment, Jesus was issuing an invitation for her to come in alignment, to realign.
From that account, we must understand the need for us to take care of our emotional health. And in this scenario, it involved knowing when to sit with Jesus, not just work for Him.
According to MentalHealth.gov, emotional health includes how we manage emotions, handle stress, and maintain relationships.
When we continually carry others’ problems without rest or boundaries, we begin to crumble under the weight.
Earlier we read about carrying one another’s burdens. But later in Galatians 6:5 it says, “Each one should carry their own load.”
What does this mean Family?
Yes we are called to help, but we cannot carry everything for everyone. There is a difference between helping someone up and dragging them while losing yourself.
Did you hear that? There is a difference between helping someone up and dragging them while losing yourself.
We hear a lot about boundaries. Can we find that in the Bible?
Guess what? Yes indeed. Boundaries are biblical.
Even Jesus took time to withdraw and pray (Luke 5:16). He didn’t heal everyone at once—He walked away when it was time to rest.
So, if you’re tired today—not from sin but from service—Jesus understands. His promise still stands: “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28, ESV). Not just for the sinner, but for the servant.
I heard a message recently, entitled: You were not built to break.
I want to reemphasize this here today and add that even though we may feel like breaking several times, we don’t have to break.
For those weighed down by service and helping, hear this: you don’t have to break to be effective. You don’t have to run on empty to prove you love.
Family, rest is not selfish—it’s sacred. When you take care of your emotional health, you protect your ability to help others with compassion rather than resentment.
So can I encourage someone today to pause, breathe, set the tray down, cancel that appointment with that person or on the job, put down the phone, decide to complete that house project later…
And do what? Sit at Jesus’ feet. There you will find rest for your weary soul.
The world will wait or continue on. But your healing can’t.
aub - 10July25
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