DAY 2 — When Correction Goes Wrong: Is It Discernment or Just Disrespect?

There are moments in our Christian walk when we believe we are correcting someone out of discernment. Some of us truly exercise more wisdom than others in certain situations.

However, as smart as we think we are sometimes, if we slow down long enough, we may realise that what came out of our mouth wasn’t discernment at all — it was frustration. It was impatience. It was irritation wrapped in religious language. 

And when correction comes from the wrong place, it does more harm than good. Because usually, when someone is in such an emotional state, the last thing they want to hear is, hey you are wrong, stop, and especially from someone they don’t respect.

The Bible tells us plainly in Proverbs 15:1 (KJV), “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” That means the wrong tone can make the right message ineffective. 

The way it works is that people don’t just hear what we say — they feel how we say it. And sometimes the disrespect in our delivery cancels out the truth in our words. I hear that.

Many believers confuse boldness with rudeness. They think being “direct” gives them permission to be dismissive. They call it honesty, but honesty without compassion is not Christlike — it’s carnal. And some even justify their harshness by saying, “Well, somebody’s got to do it,” as if the absence of gentleness is a sign of spiritual strength instead of a sign of immaturity.

Family, we should always strive to follow Jesus’ example.

Jesus spoke truth, but He never used truth to injure people. He corrected, but He did not crush. Even when He confronted sin, He did it to free people, not embarrass them.

The Apostle Paul speaks to this in Galatians 6:1 (KJV): “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness…”

That word “restore” paints the image of a physician setting a broken bone. You don’t snap it violently. You handle it carefully because the goal is healing. 

Some translations paraphrase this by saying, “Gently help them back on the right path.” This is the New Living Translation: “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.”

And this is what correction was designed to be — guidance, not humiliation.

The truth is, many of us “rebuke” because we were offended, not because the Spirit led us to do so. We speak from raw emotion, not revelation. 

And when that happens, the correction becomes disrespectful. The person ends up wounded, discouraged, or confused, hurt even. Not because they couldn’t receive correction, but because they couldn’t handle the spirit behind this rebuke. Oh, what a learning experience I’ve had! I wonder if anyone else can identify with what is being said here today.

Jesus always knew how to correct. He understood timing. He understood tone. He understood the heart. He knew when a person needed firm truth and when they needed patient grace. He saw what we cannot see — the heart behind the behaviour. 

Family, that is why our corrections must be covered in humility and guided by the Holy Spirit.

Colossians 4:6 (KJV) instructs us, “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt…”

Grace first, salt second. Grace opens the heart; salt brings the truth. If we put salt first, we burn people. 

Some translations paraphrase this beautifully by saying, ‘Let your words be gracious and attractive’ — a rendering found in the New Living Translation (NLT). Meaning — correction should draw people upward, not push them away. Help us, Jesus.

When correction goes wrong, it’s seldom because the content was incorrect. It’s usually because the heart behind it was not surrendered. When our emotions lead, our tone becomes sharp. When our patience is thin, our words become heavy. And when ego steps in, discernment steps out.

Family, many people have walked away from church, friendships, and opportunities — not because they refused correction, but because the correction they received felt like an attack instead of an invitation to grow. 

A harsh tone can stunt someone’s spiritual development. A disrespectful approach can shut down someone who was actually trying. And sometimes the one who delivered the correction wasn’t spiritually qualified to deliver it in the first place.

The study today is intended to teach us or remind us of the difference between discernment and disrespect. Discernment comes from the Spirit. Disrespect comes from the flesh.  Discernment leads people closer to God. Disrespect drives them further away. One restores. The other tears down.

So we pause. We check our motives. We examine our tone. And we ask the Holy Spirit to adjust our hearts before we attempt to adjust someone else’s behaviour. Because when correction is done right, it brings life. But when it’s done wrong, it brings unnecessary hurt; it causes damage instead of growth.

Remember, Family - the way we correct others reveals which voice we are listening to — our emotions or the Spirit of God.