It’s Not the Situation… It’s How You Keep Responding | Fix Your Relationships (Day 3)

Family, many times we ask why the same situations keep showing up in our lives, but we do not always stop to examine what those situations are revealing.

We do know that it is one thing for a situation to repeat. It is another thing for our response to remain the same. 

And if both the situation and the response are not changing, then there is something deeper going on. Could it be that God is developing something in us that has not yet been formed? Because not everything that repeats is meant to frustrate us. Some things are allowed to remain until something in us changes.

Romans 8:28 (KJV) says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Therefore, even repeated situations are not random. God can use them.

But if something keeps showing up, we have to ask, what is this producing in me? And what is this revealing about how I respond?

Because sometimes, it is not just the situation repeating. It is the pattern within us that has not yet changed. And unfortunately, many times, instead of recognising that, we shift the focus onto others and blame them for what we are experiencing. Can you imagine?!

We have been looking at the major relationships in our lives so far this week, and today, we continue in that same vein.

In marriage, the same issue may come up again and again. And while we must examine how we are responding, we also have to be honest about what is fueling the issue. Because at times, we may be the ones contributing to the pattern, and at other times, we may be responding to someone else who is. Either way, our response still matters. Is the unhealthy pattern changing, or are we still giving or reacting with the same tone, the same frustration, the same withdrawal? 

Ephesians 5:33 (KJV): “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

In friendships, different situations may arise, but they can expose the same reaction. Whether it is disappointment, misunderstanding, or distance. Are we responding more lovingly now and with understanding and grace, or are we repeating what we have always done - being argumentative, angry, impatient, and merciless?

As Christians, we are reminded of the words in Ephesians 4:31–32 (KJV), “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger… be put away from you… And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another…”

In church, situations may not always be the same, but the reactions can be. Offense, comparison, silence, or disengagement. Different triggers, same response. 

The Bible reminds us in Proverbs 15:1 (KJV): “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” And Ephesians 4:26 (KJV): “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.”

Even in the workplace, the pressure may look different each time, but we cannot afford to have the same impatience, the same negative attitude, or the same lack of consistency in how we show up day to day.

2 Corinthians 4:16–18 (KJV) says, “For which cause we faint not… though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day… while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen…” 

That reminds us that what is happening internally matters more than what is happening externally.

Family, repeated situations often expose unrenewed areas. And different situations can still reveal the same patterns. It’s like the saying goes: if you take a pig out of a pig pen, it still remains a pig. So how do you get a pig to stop rooting in mud? Well, I am not sure we can do that, but thanks be to God, He can change us from the inside out, if we are willing.

Ezekiel 36:26 (KJV) says, “A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you…”

And when that change takes place, our responses begin to change, and the patterns begin to break. Then we can really and truly sing: the things I used to do I do them no more. Amen?!

Family, let’s be clear: growth is not proven by avoiding challenges. Growth is revealed in how we respond within them.

Proverbs 29:11 (KJV) says, “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” Maturity shows in how we control ourselves. It shows in pausing before reacting. It shows in choosing a response instead of being controlled by emotion.

Family, if the same situations keep appearing, it may not just be about what is happening around us. It may be about what God is working within us.

And if different situations keep producing the same reaction, that is where the real work needs to happen.

So today, we are not just asking God to remove situations. We are asking Him to refine our response in these situations.

Because it is not just what we go through that shapes our lives. It is how we respond to it, every single time. 

Click here for the full Live Empowerment Session: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlvL2Yrcj5o